Or, why I will never emigrate Down Under

The Aussies are wonderful folk, but there are just too many venomous, foul-tempered creatures native to the area that make it inhospitable for human habitation. Also, they have critters like this:

Scores of eastern tarantulas, which are known as “bird-eating spiders” and can grow larger than the palm of a man’s hand, have begun crawling out from gardens and venturing into public spaces in Bowen, a coastal town about 700 miles northwest of Brisbane...

While not deadly like other Australian spiders, the eastern tarantulas are venomous and can grow up to 6cm (2.4in) long with a leg span of 16cm (6.3in). Despite their common name, they do not eat birds, but can kill a dog with one bite, and make a human very sick.

They are also known as whistling or barking spiders for the hissing noise they emit when they are disturbed or aggravated at close range.

And now they're collecting en masse in the town square, cat-calling, making lewd faces at the ladies and causing the milk to sour?

No, no thank you. I don't like surprises, and spiders et al have a uncanny ability for surprise at the most awkward of times, and it just so happens that my least favorite kind of surprises are "potentially-lethal, maybe-hiding-in-your-shoe, maybe-hiding-in-the-laundry-or-perhaps-under-the-couch surprises". Combine that with a penchant for inexplicably congregating downtown, and that's a deal-breaker.