Something Feral

Digging up the flower-beds.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Hammer & Sickle All-Star Line-Up 2008

Old socialists don't die, they just get moth-balled for a while:
Another notable name is joining Barack Obama's Cabinet -- former Senate Majority Leader Tom Daschle will be Health and Human Services secretary pending Senate confirmation, FOX News learned Wednesday...

As Health and Human Services chief, Daschle will be responsible for helping set health care policy. He supports a government-funded insurance program for the nation's uninsured.

Daschle has also been the head of the health care working group in the Obama transition team. Democratic officials shied away from a term some are throwing around -- "health care czar" -- but say Daschle "is likely to play a leading role in the passage of health care reform and the strategy to implement it."

Upcoming predictions for the cabinet-positions:

Secretary of State: Hillary Clinton

Secretary of the Treasury: Karl Marx's Mummy, with guest puppeteers from "Avenue 'Q'"

Secretary of Defense: N/A; this position is to be subsumed by Secretary of Homeland Security

Secretary of the Interior: Saruman; has experience with forest management policy beneficial to the aims of the State

Secretary of Agriculture: Robert Mugabe; expected to accept after having exhausted Zimbabwe's resources

Secretary of Commerce: Paul Krugman; expect a lot of "use a bigger mallet" theory

Secretary of Labor: Mola Ram; an equal-opportunity employer of children, followers strikingly similar to Obama-volunteers

Secretary of Health and Human Services: Tom Daschle

Secretary of Housing and Urban Development: The Borg Collective

Secretary of Education: Ted Turner; infrastructure for mass-programming already in place

Secretary of Energy: Tinkerbell; provides an endless and renewable source of pixie-dust

Secretary of Veterans' Affairs: TBA; "Veteran" implies turnover in enlistment

Secretary of Homeland Security: The Smiths; 'Nuff said.


Elusive Wapiti said...

Ick. Why does this election have a "Night of the Living Dead" feel to it?

Perhaps it's because of all the old corpses from a previous age thought long forgotten have come to life?

Something Feral said...

It seems like our only hope is a large stockpile of heirloom seeds, firearms and ammunition, Ayn Rand novels in case the ammunition runs out, and a boom-box with "Thriller" on infinite-loop.

Dystopia, here we come!

Triton said...

Why does this election have a "Night of the Living Dead" feel to it?

They're coming to get you, Wapiti!

Look, Wapiti! There's one of them now!

(Just a little old-school movie quoting) ;)

If they make a movie about the election, perhaps Patricia Tallman can play Sarah Palin.